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Hollywood C-list stars and old-timey Hollywood C-list has-beens. The competition is based on how many DUIs or similar arrests/mugshots each team gets. Just in the past couple of days, 2 sitcom faves from the 70s/80s did their team proud! Joyce DeWitt who played Janet on Three's Company and Eddie Mekka who played Carmine "the big Ragu" Ragusa were both arrested for drunk driving! Bravo! You know Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island and Tracy Gold from Growing Pains are celebrating these latest wins! Woo hoo! Now if only they can keep Lindsay Lohan, Paris, Britney, and Mischa at bay...they may just win this thing! 
What was your favorite part? I think my favorite performance was John Mayer's cover of Human Nature. That's just an awesome song on its own, but when John let his guitar do the singing...it just really grabbed me. Too bad he had to keep closing his eyes and making his "sex" face. You know that's what he does when he's
I don't know who the people were who sang We Are the World and Heal the World...I think a lot of them were his backup singers/dancers for his This Is It tour. If anyone knows who else is singing in that group, let me know. Whoever the guy who starts off "We are the World" is....he's maybe the only person freakier looking than MJ himself! Check out those crazy eyes!
And of course, probably the saddest part of the memorial was when his daughter Paris spoke and talked about how much she loved her daddy. Awe. :( Listen kids!!! Don't do drugs!!! Don't have your personal 24/7 physician give you powerful anesthetics! I want to help you all...really. So if any of you have a stash of prescription drugs, mail them to me. And I'll make sure they get disposed of properly! Here are some clips from the show...
The weird thing is...the day before Gale Storm died (btw, I have no idea who she is)...i was in Hollywood and thinking about walking to MJs star until I saw the huge, insane crowds gathered there....but on the way, I stepped on Gale Storm's star. I had no clue who she was, but the name definitely stuck out. And then the next day she died! I hope me stepping on her star didn't cause her death!
I'm looking forward to a big MJ tribute concert that's broadcast on all TV channels. And you know who I want to be there?? Everyone who participated in We Are the World. That would be awesome! As well as other big 80s icons, Diana Ross, Janet Jackson, I dunno...pretty much any major music star...except for a lot of today's young artists...I don't want a show filled with NeYos, Chris Browns' or Ushers.
victims. Farrah Fawcett died yesterday morning at the age of 62. Most of her friends and family had a chance to say their good-byes, except for her son Redmond who was in jail and not allowed out to visit her. But, even more shocking was the passing of Michael Jackson from cardiac arrest at the age of 50. It sucks that Farrah's thunder was over-shadowed by Michael Jackson's death...but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Oooh, that reminds me, Walter Cronkite is supposedly in pretty poor health too. Hopefully he'll hold off a few weeks so that MJ gets his proper due.
But in all seriousness...man, it just is so weird to have such an icon of my youth die. I'm sure people felt the same way about Elvis and John Lennon. But I think MJ is the first huge icon from my generation to die so unexpectedly...well, him and Anna Nicole!
MJ was preparing to start his "comeback" concerts in London in a few weeks...he was reportedly even practicing at the Staples Center in LA the night before he died where his crew and back-up
dancers said he seemed lethargic. He has had prior problems with pain killer addictions...or maybe he just drank too much Jesus juice. Hopefully the truth will be clear. I was never the sort of fan that cried at the sight of him (those people freak me out)...I'd never even been to one of his concerts...but I never doubted for a second, what a talented and gifted person he was. One person pointed out earlier today that his music was generally fairly positive and that he didn't put women down in his lyrics...his songs were usually about love, peace, and bringing the world together. Who would have thought that Diana Ross, Elizabeth Taylor, Quincy Jones, and all of his brothers would out-live him? I wish I could write more, but it's 4:15am and I need some freakin' sleep.
So, more later, hopefully. RIP MJ and Farrah (who was always my least favorite Angel, btw)..
You know stars always die in threes. If I were Patrick Swayze or Farrah Fawcett, I'd be finalizing those wills. D'oh! Oooh no I didn't!
beat the other night allegedly by a manager for Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas. The manager (Polo) denies this, but turned himself in to police anyways so the band could leave the country and continue their tour. Hilton got punched/attacked from behind...and later, tweeted from his hotel room that he was bleeding and needed police and medical attention.Who the heck TWEETS when they need medical attention!?!?! Ugh, he's such a famewhore. I don't know WHO attacked Perez Hilton...all I know is I'd like to buy that person a drink.
satisfaction of knowing that!). These 2 are NOT celebrities, yet somehow, they've managed to grace the cover of every entertainment/gossip magazine for the past month. Somehow, their extramarital affairs have become news-worthy. I do not watch the show...I do not consider either of them or their gaggle of children to be celebrities or worth my time, I think they're totally exploiting their kids for money and I the only strong opinion I have of them is that Kate's hair is super-hideous. Anyways, well big freakin' shocker. The emasculating dictator and pussy-whipped Mr. Mom are getting a divorce. The two filed for divorce today just as their "very special one-hour episode" aired on tv tonight. Frankly, I think it's for the best that these 2 split up...but what about the kids? I think they should each get 4 kids...that sounds fair. But really, the kids should go to parents who aren't so effed up and will actually treat them well. Maybe the Octo-mom can take them in for her new TV show...hmmmm. I smell a special crossover episode between Jon & Kate and Octo-mom's show!
If I was interviewing them, it would probably go something like this.
ME: How long have you two been psychotically delusional?
Spencer: (evil creepy laugh)...what? I don't know exactly what those words mean...all I know is that we're just as famous as Obama.
ME: You think you're more famous than Lou "La Bamba" Diamond Philips!?!?!
Heidi: hee hee...I don't even know who that is.
ME: You just spent a week in the jungle with him...
Spencer: jungle? We weren't in the jungle...we were in a white palace with sunshine lollipops. We can be anywhere and everywhere all at once...because now we have the love of Jesus in us...thanks to Stephen Baldwin who is Jesus' right-hand man!
ME: Ummmm...yeah. So, what does your family think about how fucking majorly retarded you both are? And please please please promise me that you will not breed!!!
Heidi: I'm already pregnant with the 2nd Messiah. God told me today that he impregnated me.
ME: Excuse me *I leave to grab a shotgun from the gun rack and return to shoot them both in the head* Well that's all we have time for today. Join me tomorrow when I interview Megan Fox and we discover if she's still super hot with a gaping hole in her head.
jewels worth $500,000 from a photo shoot she did in London last week. First of all, she is NOT worthy of even being in a photo shoot....so maybe it serves the magazine right for doing something that stupid in the first place. Scotland Yard is apparently involved in the investigation now. Several witnesses claim that Lindsay was asking a lot of questions about the loaner jewelry and supposedly joking around about keeping it. Then low-and-behold...it disappeared. She also "borrowed" a stranger's fur coat from a restaurant last year and was suspected of stealing jewelry form a previous photo shoot before.
I dunno...someone could have easily set her up...but girl has to pay for her drugs, booze, and lesbian sex toys somehow...and we all know she ain't making money in the movies anymore...
I say whether she's guilty or not of theft...she's definitely guilty of annoying us to death with her drama and clubbing and on-again-off-again gayness with Samantha Ronson....so lock her up and throw that key away, in a muddy, boggy swamp filled with key-eating crocodiles!
Somewhere, Mia Michaels is crying because she could never choreograph anything this beautiful.
SYTYCD fashion, the judges made the final choice, ultra-dramatic. Two dorky brothers had made it to the top 32 and there was only spot in the top 20 left and only one of them would get it. Laaaame. So contrived. The biggest controversy this year is some dancer named Brandon. Mary Murphy, Nigel, and Debbie Allen all had multiple orgasms while watching this guy dance. Mary Murphy couldn't stop crying over his artistic beauty (it's not like he's as beautiful as a plastic bag blowing in the wind or anything...). However, the Queen of Artistic Gay-filled Dance, Mia Michaels herself, HATES this guy. For whatever reason, she can't stand his personality and isn't THAT impressed with his dancing. She kept on bad-mouthing him until Mary Murphy served Mia a tall glass of shut the fuck up.
Ugh...I like watching the dances on the show, but I seriously do not know if I can tolerate Murphy's ridiculous screams and Mia's ultra-snooty pompousness. As long as they bring the rapist choreographer (Alex DeSilva) back on, that should keep things interesting!
for....someone killed him and then just hung him up to be tidy? I'm picturing some killer who has dead people suits hanging in his closet...and when he wants to figure out what to wear each day he thumbs through the various options...So far, speculation is that he killed himself...but some reports are also suggesting that it was more of an accident, possibly due to auto-affixiation...you know, the same thing INXS singer Michael Hutchence died from. But *I* know what really happened. It's Quentin Tarantino's latest shock and awe movie. He knew he could never top Pulp Fiction, so he decided to turn Kill Bill into a documentary! I want to see the Reservoir Dogs documentary personally...
Anyways, it sucks...if it was suicide, my heart is very saddened. If it was an accident during some sex act, then at least he went happy....but let that be a lesson to you kids...be careful when choking yourself for sexual pleasure. I know I am! ;) I always let my neighbor know when I'm about to do that...and I say "Hey neighbor...if you don't hear anything coming from my apartment in the next 5 minutes...come over and untie me!" Luckily I've only needed their help once....but I digress.
My sympathies go out to Carradine's brother, Keith, who I have a little crush on after he was on Dexter. I think he'll be back on Dexter this coming season too. Hmmm....maybe Dexter killed Bill....
The whole stunt wreaked of publicity stunt...and I'm pretty sure it was. Supposedly, the producers wanted Paris Hilton to be the poor unsuspecting victim at first, but she declined. Eminem was the 2nd choice. So I'm sure most of this was planned...but I wonder if Eminem knew EXACTLY what he was getting into? This is not very pleasant to look at....you've been warned!
Anyways, did you all catch Conan's debut Tonight Show? The set looks awesome! Enjoy this little clip from the beginning of last night's show. Conesie makes all the sadness disappear. Thank you Conan!
So who won? Well, I can tell you who DIDN'T win...the perky little no-no hole of Adam Lambert's boyfriend! Since Adam didn't win...he won't be in the mood for a little "wham bam thank you sam" after the show tonight. So yeah, Kris Allen won. I think all of Danny Gokey's little 12 year old fans threw all their support behind Kris. He's cute and clean-cut and doesn't wear makeup. Most little girls are still confused by men with better hair and makeup than them. There were several good performances last night...but here are my favorites:
cute/shy/underdog Kris Allen. Each contestant sang 3 songs - 1 they sang previously on the show, 1 the producer picked for them, and 1 original song co-written by 4th judge Cara Diarrhea or whatever her name is. Adam Lamber started the show off with his version of "Mad World" including a long black coat and lots of fog. Definitely a good choice and a strong start. But Kris countered with Ain't No Sunshine...another very good performance. Paula was her usual kiss-assy self...just barely refraining from ripping her clothes off and throwing her at these poor boys. I wonder if Simon diddles her under the table during the performances just to keep her from losing control during the show? Wouldn't be surprised.
Anywho...I'm pretty sure Adam Lambert has this one wrapped up. But don't underestimate Kris...no one ever thought he'd make it this far...but here he is. And he is good at the shy, quiet rocker thing. But American Idol needs a big noisy gay rockstar for once. Can't wait to see all the performances during the results show. BTW, Seacrest said that the results show WILL run long, so adjust your Tivo for that if you won't be watching live. Pfft...who are we kidding!? We're Americans...of course we're going to veg in front of the TV watching 2 hours of filler and ridiculous banter...especially since there's no Lost on! :(
So, good ole Danny Gokey got the axe on American Idol. Look, I like guyliner addict Adam Lambert as much as the next gay guy, but I did NOT like his squealy renditions of "One" or "Cryin" this week on Idol. I thought he might actually be in danger. Yeah yeah...he's totally been the front-runner all along and I'm sure he'll win...but Kris has really stepped up his game and the Gokey fangirls are like rabid wild dogs with unlimited texting and minutes. But somehow, Lambert and Kris made it through to the final next week. You know the Clay is really Aiken to get him a piece of Lambert.
Over on Lost...I was like WHAT THE FUCK with that whole Locke thing. That part actually gave me chills. I still think it's a bit of a cop-out...the "impostor" was way too much like Locke...I don't think an impostor could get all of those nuances down. And I've never liked Juliet much...but even I shed a little tear for Sawyer when Juliet fell down the hole. You know, at some point...whether it's the beginning of next season, or the end, they are going to bring back all of the original Losties...and that will be fun to see!
Finally...how about that Grey's Anatomy finale huh? I guess we won't be hearing Katherine Heigl bitch about weak storylines or TR Knight worrying about homophobes on the set anymore huh? I KNEW that John Doe was someone we knew...but I just did not see that coming. That freaked me out. This show is sooooo sappy and melodramatic....but there was one really awesome scene - and that was when Bailey was crying to the chief and talking about how weak her husband was. I thought that was as powerful of a scene as any TV show has had this year. Good job! So now the dreaded summer repeat season is almost upon us. Hopefully that will leave me more time for blogging and sex! :D Woo hoo! The looooooooooong drought is over...Papa Razzi is gettin' some!
Justin Timberlake hosted SNL this past weekend...and I loved a couple of his skits. I love the bit about Britney Spears in the first video! Enjoy...
