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The Academy Awards - My Thoughts

  • Feb. 26th, 2007 at 11:42 PM

Well, the awards show *just* finished...they only ran 27 hours long...or at least it felt that way.  Ellen wasn't bad.  She had a few good jokes, but she could have been much funnier and edgier.  The best part of the night was the song Will Ferrell and Jack Black sang.  But what the fuck was up with Will's hair?  That was the craziest 'fro I ever seen on a cracka.  And I couldn't believe Jack Nicholson was bald!  I was like, who is that fat Bruce Willis wannabe sittin' in Jack's usual spot!?  I'm worried for him...he didn't have that many hairs to shave off to begin with...what if he doesn't grow his hair back!? 

The shape people...they're pretty cool.  I'm just glad their segments are short.  Didn't Nicole Kidman learn anything from Charlize's giant dress bow faux pa?  Guess not, cuz there's Nicole with a bright red bow sittin on her shoulder.  I guess she needs something to detract from her over-botoxed face. 

Note to Oscars: When giving an honorary award to a dude known for his *instrumental* scores...do not have the most annoying voice in the world sing to his new song.  UGH!  Shouldn't Celine be in Las Vegas boring people out of their money???

Ryan Gosling took his mother and sister.  Ummm...1) how did he score TWO extra tix? and 2) where is Rachel???  I hope she was just busy filming!  I would hate to think they broke up!  :(  Maybe she got an oscar invite too and gave her ticket to Ryan so he could bring his sister?  I would HATE to be Leo's girlfriend...cuz Leo ALWAYS brings his mother.  That's sweet and all...but if I were his GF, I'd totally want to be there during his special moments...at least once in awhile! 

Ruh Roh...Eddie Murphy didn't win...I bet he's going to be pissed!  He seems like a poor sport.  (Note: yes, Eddie did apparently leave the show almost as soon as he lost and insiders say he definitely looked pissed).  Note to Eddie: Re-watch the Barbara Walters special where you deny ever having a slump, and gloat about being the highest grossing African-American actor and one of the highest grossing actors period.  That should help your poor fragile ego.

There are so many foreigners giving speeches and shit, I can't understand half of what is going on...and to make things worst, Clint Eastwood can barely speak English either!  Oy vey!  Jennifer Hudson wants us all to know she has breasts...and that they're about to pop out of her dress any second now! 

This just in...Al Gore is NOT running for president...but he did just announce the Al Gore Def Comedy Jam of 2007 tour.  Woop woop!

Reese is pretty...but my goodness...does she ever have a pointy chin on her!  I can't stop staring at it.  MAKE IT STOP!!!!  What the hell happened to Philip Seymour Hoffman's hair?!?!  Did a giant whale explode on his head?   Well, hopefully next year's will be a little more exciting.  I'm predicting Reno 911: Miami! will be up for at least 4 or 5 Oscars next year!

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Oscar Predictions

  • Feb. 25th, 2007 at 12:08 PM

Yay! Today is the holiest of days...and I ain't talking about the Sabbath...noooo...it's Oscar time!  Here are some thoughts and predictions for tonight's show. 

I think Ellen will be funny, but she will probably be a bit reserved.  Hopefully not...but probably.  I pray there are some Anna Nicole and Britney jokes...but she may find them too tasteless.  I'm guessing there will be at least 5 shots of Jack Nicholson in the audience.  Seems like every year, he's sitting in the front and shown on camera multiple times.  Hmmm...will Leo bring his girlfriend or his mom to the awards?  I'm going to guess his mom.  George Clooney will bring some dude as his date.  I HOPE Anna Nicole Smith is not in the dead persons section.  I mean, she wasn't much of an actress...so hopefully not.

Okay, here are my awards guesses...along with what I would LIKE to win  (Feel free to put your guesses in the comments before 5:30pm):
CategoryWill WinWant to Win
Lead ActorForest WhitakerLeonardo DiCaprio
Lead ActressHelen MirrenKate Winslet
Best MovieLittle Miss SunshineThe Departed
Best DirectorScorseseScorsese
Supporting ActorEddie MurphyAlan Arkin
Supporting ActressJennifer HudsonAdriana Barraza
Adapted ScreenplayThe DepartedBorat
Original ScreenplayThe QueenLittle Miss Sunshine
Original SongListendon't care
Original ScoreBabelBabe
MakeupPan's LabyrinthPan's Labyrinth
Foreign Language FilmPan's LabyrinthPan's Labyrinth
Film EditingThe DepartedUnited 93
Documentary ShortThe Blood of Yingzhou...don't care
Documentary FeatureAn Inconvenient TruthAn Inconvenient Truth
Animated FeatureCarsMonster House
Art DirectionPan's LabyrinthPirates of the Carribean
CinematographyPan's LabyrinthThe Prestige
Costume DesignDreamgirlsCurse of the Golden Flower
Animated ShortMaestrodon't care
Live Action ShortWest Bank Storydon't care
Sound EditingLetters from Iwo JimaBlood Diamond
Sound MixingDreamgirlsBlood Diamond
Visual EffectsPirates of the CarribeanPirates of the Carribean

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